Say something about gay babies.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
