Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
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Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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