we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Randomize
