My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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