hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
