every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
