i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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