we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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