if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
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that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
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He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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