I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
