why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
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He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
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I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.