Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
