My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
