Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
That was an excessively violent trivia night
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
