at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
