I forgot how hot balto sounded
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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