I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My vagina is officially offended.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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