ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
