On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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