her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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