My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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