They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
