At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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