We're like a lot better than the average bears
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
BRING THE BAGELS
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
