I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
