New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
