so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just forgot I was standing up.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize