Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
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Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
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so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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