You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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