Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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