So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
