It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
