he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize