you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
