Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How naked do you want me to be?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
