Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
