I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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