Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
