I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
