god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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