in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
