She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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