Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
