The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
