I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
