ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
