I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
