You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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