I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
