"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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