Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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