all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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