clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
