next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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