My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
