The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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