areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
