he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize