My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
